Gestalt Theory
by Kyron
Summary: Slingshot tells about what it's really like to be part of a Gestalt team. And it's hardly fun and games.


**Gestalt Theory**

They called it a 'technological marvel'. They said it was the next big thing in modern warfare. They said it would turn the preverbal tide.

But it was all the things they didn't say that matter the most.

We haven't always been who we are now. Some of us remember who we once were or what we once did. Most of us will never speak of it.

There's something you have to understand about gestalt mindset and technology. It's not just a 'Hey! How about you and I combine to be something stronger?'. No. We could only -hope - for something that simple.

In order to understand where we come from, you have to first understand who we are now.

As a gestalt, we are no longer ourselves. At that point, we become each other. Memories, feelings, fears, opinions, all shared immediately upon our combining. The only good thing is that it doesn't hurt so bad anymore.

Gestalt technology has always been flawed. It was a brilliant idea, designed with the best of intentions. It's execution, however, still leaves a lot to be desired.

This technology basically requires a single entity to be formed from several. Several minds, several sparks. When we merge to form Superion, we -become- Superion. Contrary to popular belief, we do not control him. He's his own being, makes his own decisions, chooses who's orders to follow within the structure of the army. No, we are nothing but his body parts and yet we are more. Our individual minds supply him with the knowledge needed to fight and win. He needs us. And he hates us. But I'll go into that later.

Merging is the worst part. I'm not talking about our minds, that is a bit shocking but fairly painless. I'm talking about our sparks. Superion exists only when the five of us have our sparks merged into one. It's a gruelingly painful process that, in essence, forces our sparks into a single chamber to the point where the meld into one another. It is only then that our gestalt mind can function properly.

It's dangerous. First time we merged, we nearly lost Air Raid. His spark went into what the humans might refer to as 'shock' and it took every medic available to bring him back.

Air Raid hasn't been the same since then. He is reckless and brash, heedlessly throwing himself into battle with such fervor that most think is 'typical Aerialbot arrogance'. But it's not. It's his own death-wish. Every time Air Raid flies out there alone, he's on a kamikaze run and he'll take whoever he's aiming for with him. Most wouldn't see him as suicidal, not at all. He does enjoy being the prankster and causing as much mayhem as he can, when he can. It's only in battle, only after a merger, that his spark yearns for it to just end. The longer we stay combined, the worse he is afterwards. We can all feel the lingering effects and, sometimes, our own sparks desire the same.

The next time we tried, after some modification, Silverbolt's processor went into regression. That incident took Slingshot and myself with it but Superion's consciousness took over. According to the med facility, that's the only thing that saved us from terminal processor failure. We lived, but the after-effects were…difficult.

Silverbolt's processor regressed to the point that he remembered being sparked in the Vector Sigma chamber. He remembered coming online, just like the rest of us. But it went back further. He was a low-altitude carrier craft one moment, his Concord mode the next. Vector Sigma had taken a living spark from a shell, combined bits with various other sparks and reinserted it in a new body. He remembered it all.

Slingshot and I saw it when he regressed. We were there with him, so to speak, when his spark was removed, watching his original body fall from the sky and crash, deactivating all those who'd been aboard and those who'd occupied the various buildings he'd hit. It was on that day that the mech known as Loadway was killed and labeled a murderer.

Death by rebirth.

Like a phoenix out of the ashes, Silverbolt was created at the same moment. 'Bolt is probably the craziest out of all of us. He blames Superion for what happened, misplaced I think but it seems to make perfect sense to him. Says that if Prime hadn't been in need of soldiers that it wouldn't have happened. He says he'd been carrying new recruits when his body was destroyed. He wants to do well, he truly does. Just afraid, like the rest of us. But how do you run from something that is an integral part of who you are now?

His fear of heights is branched off this. No flyer is born with a fear of heights. It's a defense mechanism that shows, to me anyway, that he's afraid of history repeating itself. He does the only thing he can now. He leads us, trying to shut away the 'dead' side of him and focus on correcting the error that he has no fault in but blames himself for anyway. That mech is eager to please and just wants to be seen as someone who can be counted on, despite the numerous (and sometimes very obvious) faults.

Slingshot didn't do so well after Silverbolt's breakdown. Out of all of us, he's the most insecure, I think. Seeing so much destruction and death caused, feeling every bit of it in your very spark, seemed to really make him…masochistic.

He said he'd actually -enjoyed- the pain, even the torture of the forced spark merger. Told me once that it made him feel 'alive and purposeful', even if that purpose was to bring another mech into consciousness and be used as that mech's tool. Probably why he ends up in the med bay so much. Constantly breaking himself down, sometimes unintentionally but usually through pushing well beyond his limits. I'm not sure why he truly enjoys the pain. He's empathetic, usually, wanting to make someone else's pain less by taking it on himself. I fear he will die a martyr eventually, in a very self-sacrificial way.

Me? I became a bit schizophrenic. Seems that when the processor regression took place, I was the primary harbor for Superion's consciousness. Thus, I get to hear his voice in my head, even when we are separated, a constant reminder that I'll never be normal again. That none of us will be. I hear him leering sometimes. I can hear his threats, promises, everything. Sometimes he'll speak directly to me, like a conscious I don't want. The satanic angel that sits on the shoulders in human descriptions and art. I can't stand it. There are days in which he reminds me of what I saw the day Silverbolt lost it, the day he came into his true being. And I can't help but hate him sometimes. Just that, I think, he hates us more.

Why does he hate us? Because we are his flaws, his imperfections, his being and his life force. He cannot be truly independent with us and yet, he can't be fully alive without us.

Fireflight…has managed to hide. He hides everything behind this mask of naivety. His hazardous flying methods and 'shiny penny syndrome' (as it was dubbed by Powerglide), are his way of coping. That one has always been the most empathetic of the group, first to know if something happened to any one of us and pretty much any distance. It makes me wonder if he went through Silverbolt's processor regression, my schizophrenia, Slingshot's masochism, and maybe even Air Raid's suicidal tendencies. He's the most sane of the lot, that's for sure. Grounded, mentally and emotionally most of the time.

We all deal differently, as you can see. Some of us have further to go than others before anyone can consider us normal. Most mechs couldn't understand what we go through. They call it arrogance. We call it survival.

I can't count the number of upgrades we've each been put through in order to simplify the process and ease the sheer pain we feel. It has gotten better, that much I do admit. Ratchet and Wheeljack, along with the other dozen or so medics and engineers have been working constantly on a way to perfect the process. As I said, there have been vast improvements in the methods. Other teams that came after us have shown considerable improvement. Computron and the Technobots were the next wave in Autobot Gestalt technology and had their faults but nothing like what we've been through. After them, the progress only got better. The Protectobots and Defensor are the most prominent success story in the history of gestalt technology. The systems are under constant modification, trying to maintain the tedious balance of individual and gestalt mind. The spark merge has also come a long way, but is still no where near perfect. But their trying and the other teams have shown tremendous progress.

We envy them. They'll make it with little to no damage to their cores, processors, or sparks. They'll be the ones to pave the way. They'll maintain their sanity.

For us and Superion, however, it might be far too late.


End file.
